Do you feel confused and hurt but happy and awe? The tangle of relations and problems never basically/literally untangle themselves. It hurts to see them increase. A rush in your veins. A tear in your eye. A feeling of despair and disaster. All inside you. Get it off you. How?? Blurt it out.

Hello and welcome to my blog: Magical BookLush.

If you are here for something time worthy, please press the exit button or back button on your phone or laptop or whatever device you are using because this blog is just about me ranting the problems in my life that I am basically incapable of solving on my own.

So yeah let’s start the blog, shall we?

2000 HITS!!!! Going crazy but a little disappointed too. I feel like did I really deserve these hits??  am I good enough to write?? Should I even write?? Every moment I am writing I feel like I am wasting your time and I just shake that feeling off and keep writing but sometimes it gets to me. As you have seen these few days I have just been reblogging and added some music videos. Nothing much. I feel like I don’t deserve these hits.

See, you will think that I am just showing off but the truth is I am the opposite of what I show on my blog. I have done a thousand character quizzes and turned up an Ambivert every single time.

Those who don’t know ambivert is the crazy person who is happy a second and crazy in the next moment. Excited in one and sad in another. I am such a tragedy in this world. Although I don’t go on those quizzes, I do go on my mood swings. Yesterday I was filling https://beetleypete.com with crazy comments and the other second I went offline and started feeling sad. It just comes and goes like I have a rented my body to a ghost who comes and goes whenever it likes.

I feel like my sickness drained my energy and happiness. I feel really lazy and sad.

This month has been special I broke many records and got many new things but it feels like I am draining. I crossed a 100 hits per day, 2000 hits in 7 months, so many supporters and good friends. I love my blog but it feels like my mirror is shattering. It’s breaking and I am closing up again.

After moving to India, I have changed a lot. I became that badass girl that people thought I could never be. I changed in many ways. I got stressed due to family problems that ain’t gonna sort out any sooner or later but writing this post made me feel lighter. I know it’s boring for you. But that’s the least I could do for myself.

So that’s it for today. I feel much lighter and you must be feeling much heavier, sorry for that. I hope I didn’t waste much of your time.

If you like my blog, like it, share it, and open up your feelings. Follow my blog for more if you want to gain more weight without eating food.

Signing out X.

I don’t know what this has to do with my post but there it is.

Thank you for your valuable time.


  1. Much of what I used to write on my blog was to just get thoughts and emotions out of my mind, and onto a page. Writing all that stuff down can be cathartic, as long as we are aware that lots of other stuff will keep arriving to fill that space we have just made.
    Just stay true to who you are, and your readers will like you for that.
    I know I do. 🙂 x
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Pete. I am trying hard to not flip because whenever I flip I quit stuff. And I don’t want to quit blogging. It’s just that I am not used to all this love. I am so glad and pleased that people love something I am doing because usually, people ignore me. I am a weirdo in this country. Even if I want to I just can’t keep up.

      Thank you so much for supporting me. I couldn’t have done anything without your support. You really are a nice man, Pete. God did something incredible by creating you. Thank you for being here.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Being a weirdo can be good. Buck the trend, and just be ‘Suzan’. 🙂 x

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I am trying my best, I hope this ‘Suzan trend’ doesn’t take off in a bad way on people. I like being me but I am sometimes just uncontrollable. I am happy that you like the weirdo me or do you?

          Liked by 1 person

  2. This is your blog Suzan and whether you’re blogging or out in the “real” world, just stay true to yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Kim, I sure will stay true and real and if I don’t will you help bring me back to reality?

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Great, thank you so much for your support, Kim I really appreciate it.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. A remarkable man Henri Nouwen I followed him up. He knew we were often in inward turmoil and he learned to live with it as we all must.


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K Morris - Poet

Kevin Morris poet


I read & write.


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